roger posted a condolence
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Al and Barbara were the kind of couple that really took care of each other and worked well together.
Early on, in my time as a caregiver for Al, it was very clear that Al was always happiest and most at ease when Barbara was with him. Back then I would frequently take Al on long drives around the area because it relaxed him. But he would always be the happier to get back home to Barbara.
When car trips proved too stressful for Al we would spend time at their home doing chores outside. Al would sit, with their dog Pip on his lap, and watch things like mowing the yard, or washing the cars, as a way to be included in the task. He enjoyed being outside on a sunny day.
Once when Barbara was coming home from running errands, he turned to me and said, "watch, I'm going to get a kiss." Barbara came into the living room and gave him a kiss and Al turned and gave me a sly grin and a wink. He was so glad to see her.
As Al's condition grew worse he relied more and more on Barbara to help him feel safe in his mental world. And Barbara was always able to calm Al and make him feel safe, cared for, and loved.
You could tell that Al was a happy man living a contented life because when he was ill, right up to the end, he was good natured. His debilitating disease could have taken away his positive outlook, but being well cared for by his loving wife allowed him to keep his sense of self and his dignity.
